Fearless, Girl!

What. You thought this #DontSettle Summer was all about free stuff?

(Well, mostly. Big ups to Jenny H., for scoring thefirst round of Settling Down swag on Facebook, as well as all 300+ of you who entered. There'll be more where that came from.)

But in the meantime, a brief take-down, of that little hussy,  Good Enough. 

Believe me. It's kinda personal.

For most of my life, me and Good Enough were besties. Inseparable even. Good Enough was my protector. A voice against the critics. A safety blanket against fear. Against errything.

And I worked her like a boss.

Or maybe she worked me. 'Cause that chick Good Enough is a trickster. 

Good Enough comes from the Latin (not really) phrase meaning:  'One who does the most basic of requirements, in order to complete the task at hand, specifically to avoid failure, success, attention of any kind or being challenged by anything or anyone around her.'

In concrete terms, Good Enough is the C+ on that 10 page research paper you wrote in 45 minutes. Good Enough is the dude who has 3 of your basic requirements and one of them is breathing. Good Enough is that unflattering sundress that winds up in your closet on price alone. Good Enough is tricking yourself, and everyone around you, into believing that you are trying your hardest, when you're really only working on 20 percent.

If you have no desire to grow, well, ever, this is an excellent place to be. It's quiet here in the land of low expectations. And predictable. There's absolutely no pressure. Or disappointments. Or criticisms, outside of the silent ones going down in your own head.

But this life, while seemingly safe, is also hella boring. 'Cause once you saddle up with Good Enough, not only do you give up all claim to your fierce power and the magic that you're capable of, all by yourself, but you also give up all of the amazing things life has in store for you, just because:  You simply believe that you deserve them.

And this, my friends, may be the biggest #DontSettle argument of them all.

The #DontSettle Summer Ultimate Beach Bag Giveaway

The #DontSettle Summer Beach Bag Giveaway

Oh, hello #DontSettleSummer

Welcome to the official kickoff of the #DontSettleSummer!

The vibe? Massive female empowerment, baby. 'Cause there's an epidemic in this world. Of women afraid to live their best lives. Yup. Instead of having the faith to believe there's something even more amazing on the horizon, too many girlfriends are willing to grab what's easy and in front of them, whether it be a man, job or a clearance handbag.

That my friend is called settling. 

And it needs to go the way of the mullet. File under extinct.

The #DontSettleSummer festivities are gonna pop off with a bang, way before any 4th of July fireworks, with exciting giveaways across the big three social media channels:  Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Stick around if you:  

• Are a voracious reader of women's fiction, ya know, like my debut novel Settling Down.
• Like your stories to go down with humor, sharp wit and the undying expectation that you, as a smart chick, can be entertained without packing away your intelligence. 
• Enjoy cheering on other ladies on their life journeys, while internalizing their lessons to improve your own situation.
• Are committed to growing into your best person. And then growing some more. And then...you get the picture.
• Wanna stomp on stereotypes that there's a one-sized journey of life.
• Like free stuff, like beach bags, luggage tags, autographed vacation reads AND jewelry.

Settling is about giving up your power.

The #DontSettleSummer is about taking it back.

A Valentine's Day Giveaway? Yes, Please. Enter to Win the Don't Settle Swag-A-Licious Prize Pack

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Hey, beautiful you. 

I wanna be your Valentine.

Yup. Be mine and all that. 

This February 14th, aka, the most isolating of Hallmark holidays for the single chick, we're gonna do things a little differently. This year, you'll be armed with heartfelt sisterhood backup, moi, ready to shatter the myth that you need a prince in your life, Charming or otherwise, in order to be complete in this world. And maybe, just maybe, in the end all you need is one.

So, rise up my single ladies. We're celebrating the individual awesomeness you bring every day.

All. By. Yourself.

My question:  You do believe this too, right?

Insert praying hands emoji. 

Phew. Listen. I understand. Life is a battlefield. And no matter how strong you are, everyone needs a reminder every once in a while. So I've got you:  Signed, sealed, delivered. 

Behold the swag-a-licious #Don'tSettle prize pack.

One lucky winner will celebrate the solo with a signed copy of my book Settling Down, a humorous fictional guidebook, if you will, in the spirit of Jennifer Weiner, that explores what happens to an otherwise strong intelligent woman when she looks outside herself for love and happiness. What did Providence Monthly Magazine have to say?  This:  "The reasons to like this book are numerous...It's funny, for one. Really funny. And a lot smarter than a lot of other "chick lit" books that all get grouped together in an unfairly negative way."

But that's not all. You'll also receive a #Don'tSettle luggage tag and beach bag, for your own personal journey. Plus, I'm even going to help you put your own ring on it, 'cause it is kinda integral to the storyline. How does.sterling silver, size 7, grab ya? And last, but not least, I'm including a heart filled with yummy chocolates, because, well, duh. 

The best part? You don't have to share.

Yeah, I know. I'm the best.

And guess what? You are too.

(Contest open to US mailing addresses only.)

May My Inspiration For Writing Settling Down Inspire Your (Single) New Year's Resolutions

"I'm always with him, because:  That. Is. What He Is. There. For."

As with all revolutions, this one started with a proverbial shot. Only this one emanated from a childhood friend's mouth. Someone that I had literally grown up with. 

Or so I thought.

Truth is, what started as a convo about friendship (ours), free time (the majority of it spent with her boyfriend) and working on the balance of the two, her angry words said way more.

About herself. What she wanted in life. And more importantly, what she was willing to sacrifice to get there. Unfortunately, this wasn't a place that I could comfortably stand anymore.

Indeed. I believe in love. Passionately.

I believe in romance. Of relationships. Of marriages, partnering up, of finding someone who will help you grow into your best self. In fact, the growth that I've experienced being married to my husband is something that I know I would have never experienced on my own.

I am IN love. Someone asked me that, quite randomly (and kinda frantically) at a nightclub a few years back. The answer is yes. Twenty-four years and counting (17 of them married), and I can honestly say that I did a surprisingly good job picking my mate.

It's what my husband 'is there for', that's a little different. His job is to challenge me to evolve into a better person, something he accomplishes on the daily -- instead of being a physical symbol that I am lovable. And there's a huge difference there. Because in order to get to this healthy place at all, I had to learn how to love myself first, instead of aimlessly looking for someone to complete me.

'Cause that never works.

The thing about settling, especially if you don't know yourself, is it won't even register at first. It's the long game where you'll miss out. Because, instead of waiting for Mr. Amaze-balls, someone who will help make you a better person, settlers desperately choose the wrong partner, simply because they don't want to be alone.

You don't want this life.

So how about you make it your New Year's resolution. To rejoice in being single. To embrace the fact that you're really okay being alone. Instead of being alone until the next guy shows up. Because, there's a difference.

If you need some help, a fictional guidebook if you will, I wrote Settling Down as my gift to you.

And while it was initially inspired by real life events, I was intent on writing a better ending.