Fearless, Girl!

What. You thought this #DontSettle Summer was all about free stuff?

(Well, mostly. Big ups to Jenny H., for scoring thefirst round of Settling Down swag on Facebook, as well as all 300+ of you who entered. There'll be more where that came from.)

But in the meantime, a brief take-down, of that little hussy,  Good Enough. 

Believe me. It's kinda personal.

For most of my life, me and Good Enough were besties. Inseparable even. Good Enough was my protector. A voice against the critics. A safety blanket against fear. Against errything.

And I worked her like a boss.

Or maybe she worked me. 'Cause that chick Good Enough is a trickster. 

Good Enough comes from the Latin (not really) phrase meaning:  'One who does the most basic of requirements, in order to complete the task at hand, specifically to avoid failure, success, attention of any kind or being challenged by anything or anyone around her.'

In concrete terms, Good Enough is the C+ on that 10 page research paper you wrote in 45 minutes. Good Enough is the dude who has 3 of your basic requirements and one of them is breathing. Good Enough is that unflattering sundress that winds up in your closet on price alone. Good Enough is tricking yourself, and everyone around you, into believing that you are trying your hardest, when you're really only working on 20 percent.

If you have no desire to grow, well, ever, this is an excellent place to be. It's quiet here in the land of low expectations. And predictable. There's absolutely no pressure. Or disappointments. Or criticisms, outside of the silent ones going down in your own head.

But this life, while seemingly safe, is also hella boring. 'Cause once you saddle up with Good Enough, not only do you give up all claim to your fierce power and the magic that you're capable of, all by yourself, but you also give up all of the amazing things life has in store for you, just because:  You simply believe that you deserve them.

And this, my friends, may be the biggest #DontSettle argument of them all.

Back to Life

"When the place that you were born is not where you belong.

Tell me baby, what stops you from wearing a crown"

This is how my birthday kicked off this year.

In NYC. At 4am. In the sidewalk shadows before sunrise.

With these soulful lyrics by Ms. Alicia Keys that almost made me cry.

Because (vulnerable moment alert):  This. Is Me.

The place where I was born, is not where I belong. 

(And trust. No one mentioned anything 'bout any crown.)

So, how do become your own queen? The empress of your own kingdom? Especially when there's roadblocks at every turn? Easy (in concept):  Learn to love your damn self. Fiercely. Passionately. Above anything else. In spite of everything else. With wild reckless abandon.

And while it's a simple concept, the journey to get there isn't.

That path is incredibly hard. And so rocky most don't even try to scale it. Often times it's littered with the broken dreams of others and their truths (read: falses) for themselves, and you.

But you can, and need to claw your way beyond the negative voices. The ones that put down your choices. The ones that say that you're not good enough. The ones that say that you don't matter.

Because, dammit, dear girl. You do!

You deserve to wear that crown, polished to a blinding brilliance, with your head held high. You deserve to stride away from any negativity that binds you to the past. From the hurtful lies that kept you from growing. And achieving. And owning the fearless one of a kind Y-O-U.

You deserve to shine. Brighter than any damn diamond.

Years after embarking on this journey, here I was, in the darkness right before the dawn. On the Today Show Plaza:  Whole. Healed. Happy. Proud as hell of who I am now, and what I've already accomplished. But more importantly, who I have the potential of becoming. 'Cause that chick? She got mad untapped potential.

And then, that song, ironically called 'Back To Life'. A truly beautiful birthday blessing.

A reminder that not only am I wearing that sparkly crown that I designed myself.

I'm working it like a boss.