Filtering by Tag: self-esteem
Hey, beautiful you.
I wanna be your Valentine.
Yup. Be mine and all that.
This February 14th, aka, the most isolating of Hallmark holidays for the single chick, we're gonna do things a little differently. This year, you'll be armed with heartfelt sisterhood backup, moi, ready to shatter the myth that you need a prince in your life, Charming or otherwise, in order to be complete in this world. And maybe, just maybe, in the end all you need is one.
So, rise up my single ladies. We're celebrating the individual awesomeness you bring every day.
All. By. Yourself.
My question: You do believe this too, right?
Insert praying hands emoji.
Phew. Listen. I understand. Life is a battlefield. And no matter how strong you are, everyone needs a reminder every once in a while. So I've got you: Signed, sealed, delivered.
Behold the swag-a-licious #Don'tSettle prize pack.
One lucky winner will celebrate the solo with a signed copy of my book Settling Down, a humorous fictional guidebook, if you will, in the spirit of Jennifer Weiner, that explores what happens to an otherwise strong intelligent woman when she looks outside herself for love and happiness. What did Providence Monthly Magazine have to say? This: "The reasons to like this book are numerous...It's funny, for one. Really funny. And a lot smarter than a lot of other "chick lit" books that all get grouped together in an unfairly negative way."
But that's not all. You'll also receive a #Don'tSettle luggage tag and beach bag, for your own personal journey. Plus, I'm even going to help you put your own ring on it, 'cause it is kinda integral to the storyline. How does.sterling silver, size 7, grab ya? And last, but not least, I'm including a heart filled with yummy chocolates, because, well, duh.
The best part? You don't have to share.
Yeah, I know. I'm the best.
And guess what? You are too.
(Contest open to US mailing addresses only.)
"I'm always with him, because: That. Is. What He Is. There. For."
As with all revolutions, this one started with a proverbial shot. Only this one emanated from a childhood friend's mouth. Someone that I had literally grown up with.
Or so I thought.
Truth is, what started as a convo about friendship (ours), free time (the majority of it spent with her boyfriend) and working on the balance of the two, her angry words said way more.
About herself. What she wanted in life. And more importantly, what she was willing to sacrifice to get there. Unfortunately, this wasn't a place that I could comfortably stand anymore.
Indeed. I believe in love. Passionately.
I believe in romance. Of relationships. Of marriages, partnering up, of finding someone who will help you grow into your best self. In fact, the growth that I've experienced being married to my husband is something that I know I would have never experienced on my own.
I am IN love. Someone asked me that, quite randomly (and kinda frantically) at a nightclub a few years back. The answer is yes. Twenty-four years and counting (17 of them married), and I can honestly say that I did a surprisingly good job picking my mate.
It's what my husband 'is there for', that's a little different. His job is to challenge me to evolve into a better person, something he accomplishes on the daily -- instead of being a physical symbol that I am lovable. And there's a huge difference there. Because in order to get to this healthy place at all, I had to learn how to love myself first, instead of aimlessly looking for someone to complete me.
'Cause that never works.
The thing about settling, especially if you don't know yourself, is it won't even register at first. It's the long game where you'll miss out. Because, instead of waiting for Mr. Amaze-balls, someone who will help make you a better person, settlers desperately choose the wrong partner, simply because they don't want to be alone.
You don't want this life.
So how about you make it your New Year's resolution. To rejoice in being single. To embrace the fact that you're really okay being alone. Instead of being alone until the next guy shows up. Because, there's a difference.
If you need some help, a fictional guidebook if you will, I wrote Settling Down as my gift to you.
And while it was initially inspired by real life events, I was intent on writing a better ending.
"When the place that you were born is not where you belong.
Tell me baby, what stops you from wearing a crown"
This is how my birthday kicked off this year.
In NYC. At 4am. In the sidewalk shadows before sunrise.
With these soulful lyrics by Ms. Alicia Keys that almost made me cry.
Because (vulnerable moment alert): This. Is Me.
The place where I was born, is not where I belong.
(And trust. No one mentioned anything 'bout any crown.)
So, how do become your own queen? The empress of your own kingdom? Especially when there's roadblocks at every turn? Easy (in concept): Learn to love your damn self. Fiercely. Passionately. Above anything else. In spite of everything else. With wild reckless abandon.
And while it's a simple concept, the journey to get there isn't.
That path is incredibly hard. And so rocky most don't even try to scale it. Often times it's littered with the broken dreams of others and their truths (read: falses) for themselves, and you.
But you can, and need to claw your way beyond the negative voices. The ones that put down your choices. The ones that say that you're not good enough. The ones that say that you don't matter.
Because, dammit, dear girl. You do!
You deserve to wear that crown, polished to a blinding brilliance, with your head held high. You deserve to stride away from any negativity that binds you to the past. From the hurtful lies that kept you from growing. And achieving. And owning the fearless one of a kind Y-O-U.
You deserve to shine. Brighter than any damn diamond.
Years after embarking on this journey, here I was, in the darkness right before the dawn. On the Today Show Plaza: Whole. Healed. Happy. Proud as hell of who I am now, and what I've already accomplished. But more importantly, who I have the potential of becoming. 'Cause that chick? She got mad untapped potential.
And then, that song, ironically called 'Back To Life'. A truly beautiful birthday blessing.
A reminder that not only am I wearing that sparkly crown that I designed myself.
I'm working it like a boss.